I’m sure that you’ve heard countless times that over 50% of all marriages end in divorce. This is an overwhelming statistic, and it just goes to show how difficult relationships with the other sex can be.

Each person has a different time table for getting over a divorce, and it’s important not to rush from one bad relationship into another. Before getting ready to date again, it’s wise to make sure that you’ve had a chance to work through your issues before jumping into the next relationship.

You need to be honest with yourself, and ask yourself if you are prepared mentally, physically, and spiritually to commit yourself to finding a new relationship. Some people are ready the moment their previous relationship ends and others can take months or years until they reach that point.

The longer you were married, the more difficult it becomes to find other singles. Married couples tend to develop and foster relationships with other married couples. Once a divorce is finalized, one of the divorced couple tends to lose this base of friends.

Where are the best places to meet other singes? This is an age old question, and there is a variety of old stand bys: the local bar or pub, night clubs, social clubs, and church to name a few. Many singles rely on friends or people they already know to help them find someone (i.e. a blind date or prearranged meeting). Finally many singles cling to the hope of a chance encounter (i.e. bumping into someone while shopping, etc.) leading to finding Mrs. Right.

The internet becomes a great source for meeting other singles. It’s an ever increasing pool with more and more people getting connected to the internet. For seasoned internet veterans, it’s hard to believe that tens of thousands of people use the internet for the first time each and every day, and this trend won’t be ending any time soon.

Where is the best place for these people to find other singles?

I’m sure you’ve read countless stories about free social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace. These sites are great for keeping in touch with people that you already are familiar with, but finding quality singles is not something these sites are renowned for.

For older singles, these sites also seem quite intimidating to use. They tend to be oriented towards younger web surfers, with the majority of users under the age of 35.

Online dating sites provide a great service for divorced men and women. They provide a large pool of qualified singles that are also looking to find someone else.

Technology has gotten to the point where anyone is able to use one of these sites. If you know how to type out an email, then you’re more than qualified to navigate your way through an online dating site.

There are countless sites out there, and the service they offer cover a wide gamut. There are sites for divorced singles, single parents, disabled singles, interracial, ethnic (i.e. Italian, German, Asian, Arab, Indian, Russian, etc.), mail order brides, seniors, gay and lesbian, as well as various sites set up for singles just looking for sexual experiences either online or in person.

Most paid sites will offer a free trial membership so you can get a chance to look around a site and see what it has to offer before making a decision on whether or not to join. See what the pool of singles look like in your local area and take the time to investigate the various options out there.

The world is a really big place, and the task of finding someone can become overwhelming, but online dating sites do a really good job of helping you narrow down your search.

I was surfing the net today and I came across an item written by Andrew Johnstone which states: research shows that 97% of all men give up on online dating within 3 months of starting. That number really jumped out at me, and after giving it some thought, I have to dispute it.

As I’ve outlined before, internet dating involves a lot of work up front to make the entire process successful. Once you eliminate the pool of people who are only using free dating sites, I think the number of people that fail is significantly smaller than what Johnstone states.

People that reach into their wallet and make the decision to pay for a service are much more committed to making the process work. They are essentially prequalified leads (to use a sales term).  That’s a proven fact!

The article lists the many reasons why so many men feel they fail. The most common theme he kept coming back to was that most men weren’t properly prepared before joining a site. This immediate lack of results discourages both men and women alike.

Most of this goes back to a lot of the things I’ve addressed in previous blog articles on this site. The top five items Johnstone says that internet daters need to address are the following:

1. Use a good photo of yourself.
2. Compose a catchy headline
3. Write an informative profile that has the reader looking for more info
4. Personalize each email that you compose, make it unique
5. Be yourself and enjoy the process

Follow these steps as well as some others I’ve outlined previously in this blog and I can guarantee that your online dating experience will be a success.

Here’s an interesting story this morning regarding the use of background checks for online dating sites. The article goes into detail about the ongoing debate on whether or not these checks will add any value to a dating service.

Of all the major online dating companies, only True.com currently provides a screening process for it’s customers. This process involves running names through state databases of criminal records. There are arguments about whether or not the screening test is comprehensive or thorough enough, and it may lead True.com members into a false sense of security.

The article is in response to the New Jersey Law passed in January (know as the Internet Dating Safety Act) that requires online dating sites to provide background checks on each of their members. New Jersey remains the only state with the law in effect, with other states such as New York and Pennsylvania looking at similar legislation.

This is just a reminder to use your common sense when dating online. Remember to keep your personal information secure and make sure to follow the same rules of safety you would when dating off line.

For anyone who thinks that online dating is a passing trend, I just bumped into an article that shows its popularity increasing.  The study was based out of Great Britain by the dating agency Parship, and it makes two fantastic claims.

• “Nearly eight million Britons used some form of online dating service in 2007, compared to 5.4 million who used a mixture of offline and online services in 2005.”

• “Over 53 per cent of singles intend to use the internet to meet someone in the future, rising to 65 per cent of 36 to 40 year-olds.”

These statistics are incredible, and it shows that people don’t attach a stigma to using online services.  In fact, these statistics show that your network or pool of available matches is much larger than relying on the traditional method of hoping for a chance encounter.

The increased use of technology is the driving force behind this.  People use email, text messaging and instant messaging while at work.  We log onto the internet to get almost all of our news, and we use the internet to do research when we’re in the market to buy something. People are comfortable using these mediums of communication, and online dating is just another extension of that.

Singles are increasingly aware that using an online dating service will drastically reduce the amount of time it will take to find that someone special.  It gives you the benefit of “meeting” someone online without having to go through the time and expense of a traditional date.

You also are able to “meet” many different singles as well.  You can have ongoing discussions and/or emails with multiple singles at once.  This is not considered “cheating” in online circles.  Once you’ve had a chance to get to know a little bit about a person, you can set about arranging that first face-to-face meeting.

The savings in time is well worth the small investment involved with joining a dating site.  For $15-$25 per month, online dating sites offer real value for singles.  Whether you are a single mother who only has time for herself once the children are in bed or a working professional who is constantly away on business, online dating provides you the perfect platform for meeting that someone special on your own schedule.

To read the original article, click here.

Welcome to section thirteen of my Online Dating Quick Start Guide.  Yahoo!  You’ve made it to the end and you’re now getting ready for the big moment where you’re going to meet face to face.  Yikes!

You’ve been using an online dating service and you’ve found someone you would really like to meet.  Before you get started, there is one big note of caution.

Online dating sites DO NOT do background checks on their customers.  Please don’t assume that because a person has a profile on a dating site that the site has “pre-qualified” them and validated their background.

Here are some best practices for you to follow before setting up your first meeting.

• Make contact by phone.

Although you’ve developed a comfort level with this person by exchanging plenty of emails and instant messages, it’s important to have a few phone conversations with the person before meeting.  Hearing their voice adds a new dimension to a relationship.  It will give you an idea on the cadence they speak in, as well as if there are any awkward pauses when they respond to your questions. If they have a voice that grates on your nerves, this may also be a sign that this person isn’t a good match for you.

• Use your cell phone number, not your home number.

Your safety is better protected on your cell phone.  People are able to pull up your name, address, and directions to your house just by knowing your phone number.  To illustrate my point, go to Google.com and enter in your home phone number.  You’ll notice it will pull up your name, your address, and a link to Google Maps to show how to get to your house.  If you’re uncomfortable with this information being posted on Google, click on the search result and there is a link to unsubscribe your information.

• Do not have them pick you up at your house or your place of work.

• Meet in a public place and keep it low key.

Meet at Starbucks or a local diner for a cup of coffee.

• Lunch is great.

Lunch works well because it comes with a time limit.  People need to get back to the office, so you have a built in excuse to leave if things aren’t going as planned.

• Avoid meeting for cocktails.

Alcohol does different things to different people, not always for the better.  People’s personalities tend to change with each cocktail they drink.  Someone who’s shy may turn into the life of the party, but you’re hoping to see the person as they really are.

• Bring your cell phone, and make sure it’s charged.

• Tell a friend or family member your plans.

Give them the name of the person you’re meeting, their cell phone number, and the place you’ll be meeting.  Tell them your whereabouts in case things go really wrong.

• Have your friend give you a call to check on you.

My suggestion is to have your friend call at a point when the date should have ended.  For example, if you’re meeting for lunch at noon, and you expect the lunch to last one hour, have your friend give you a call at 1:30 to make sure you’re safe.

• Don’t invite them back to your house.

If the date goes well, you will be making plans for another day shortly after that.

I’m not trying to paint a picture of doom and gloom.  In fact, almost all of the singles you meet will be normal well-adjusted individuals.  These are just some guidelines to follow to protect yourself against some of the crazy people that may be lurking out there.  It’s better to be safe than sorry.

That’s the end of my Quick Start Guide.  Thanks for following.  If you haven’t done so yet, please check out my recommendations on the best online dating sites to use.

Cheers,

Mac